For the longest time, I believed that the bond that defined me was the one with myself. I used to think that my hiccups, obstacles, and fears were my defining characteristics. I allowed these flaws to overshadow my strengths, and it felt like a constant, painful reminder.
Throughout most of my life, I remained single, engaging in only brief flings and short romantic journeys that didn't leave a lasting mark. Instead, they transformed me into a somewhat jaded romantic. I didn't find enjoyment in these short-term debacles; what I truly longed for was love—a bond that would accept me with all my strengths and flaws.
When we talk about the bond that defines a person, it doesn't mean it's the only one present. We can have several significant bonds in our lives. What matters is understanding which one holds the most influence over our beliefs, attitudes, and perspectives.
The transformative bond didn't come into existence until my current lover entered my life. Our relationship has thrived for three strong years now, and it has come to define me in countless ways.
My lover's arrival in my life was sudden and unexpected. Just a little over 4.5 feet tall, compared to him, I'm like a 4-foot gift box. His hand length is precisely right, reaching my hip, but I never favored tall men, you see; I sort of crash-landed into his arms. To summarize, it began as a friends-with-benefits proposal, taking me out of my single shelf life, hastening the breakage of my virginity, charging the low sexual battery during COVID—a proposition of sorts. From there, love blossomed in our hearts, sprouting from the seeds of our rapid-fire conversations during lockdown!
I started relying on him as much as he started relying on me, and this bond has made us stronger on our journey together. He enabled me to heal my wounds completely. With his unwavering support, understanding, and love, I found the strength to confront my deepest emotional scars. His presence in my life acted as a soothing balm, gradually erasing the pain that had lingered for so long. Through his empathy and patience, I learned to forgive not only others but also myself, allowing me to let go of the burdens I had carried. His love has been a transformative force, mending the broken pieces of my heart and helping me rediscover my sense of wholeness.
We're complete opposites, too. He embodies lightheartedness and humor, while I tend to be more serious, often viewing life through a 'this is the hard reality' lens. Surprisingly, our differences didn't hinder our connection; in fact, they deepened it. At a profound level, we discovered that we were both lonely souls yearning for connection and love. Our contrasting personas even found a playful home on Instagram, where he embraced 'comedy' while I proudly wore the 'tragedy' label in our usernames—and that quirky dynamic has endured, even to this day!
Love is a force that defies explanation, transcending boundaries and touching every aspect of our lives. It has the power to lift us to great heights and heal our deepest wounds. It's not merely physical but emotional as well, and it has given my life profound meaning.
I often used poetry to express my feelings and connect with my inner self. Poetry allowed me to convey the beauty of love in a way that regular words couldn't quite capture. Love poems, especially, hold a special charm, revealing their true beauty when you explore the emotions where love first began.
My personal journey and the bond I share with my lover have profoundly influenced my life, providing the love and connection I longed for. The story I've shared shows the transformative and healing power of love, reminding each one of us of the importance of self-expression and personal growth in our lives.
Here's a poem i wrote about our love:
we are a magnetic attraction
between tragical and comical lands
two very different hands, one big and one small
yet fingers fitting in to the gaps of each other’s fingers
the psychological explanation of opposites attracting
this intense chemistry is me laughing
to your bad jokes that are actually hilarious
it is you listening to my complaints and hysterical drama
between the hours and days that become years
I’ll never be too old to laugh at your puns
the inner child in you is like a cat that found a knitting yarn ball
you find joy even in the darkest corners of the house
but I hope you will learn soon that a ball of yarn isn’t safe for a cat;
it isn’t healthy for you to avoid life’s complications
you’ll never be too young to understand my criticisms
when I point out that the comical land,
is the land that time forgot to focus on forethoughts
your witty remarks are like a chocolate wrapper or
the hardy snakeskin; designed to protect yourself
to hide what’s already delicate
even snakes shed their skin once in a while,
I know that your heart opens its doors for me
I am quick to detect when you are building a burial ground
for your painful emotions
I have dealt my hand in downfalls and unhappy endings
that sometimes I welcome your painful thoughts with open hands
but we are a magnetic attraction
where you and I meet is a broken bridge well mended
I present you with harsh reality
while you paint the world a starry night
our worlds are no doubt like spring and winter
two very different temperate zones
but where we meet, we have things in common
between the tragical and comical lands
just like our two very different hands, one big and one small
our fingers, they fit in to the gaps of each other’s fingers